You deal with it. You just keep going.
The Bipolar Entrepreneur.
It worked, for the most part.
In 2005 my wife picked me up from the Sacramento Mental Health Treatment Center. I’d been there 10 days.
Bipolar, they said.
This is my story. These are a few of the lessons I’ve learned since then.
It had been a wild ride the few weeks before. Manic episode number 2, though I didn’t even know what that meant.
The first episode occurred 6 months prior.
Hyper-mania. Euphoria.
Crazy ideas. Crazy words. Crazy behavior.
(If I combined both episodes into a “sci-fi fiction” book and described in detail all of the things I did or attempted to do, then published the book…it would hit the New York Times Best Sellers list within a week. No kidding.)
People were wondering, “What was going on with Josh? He’s not acting like himself.”
When my wife picked me up that day with my 1 year old son in the back seat of our car, we both were hoping things would go back to normal.
But, they didn’t…
…and frankly, never have.
You might think that this is a sad story. But, it’s not.
I’d like to illustrate that life has it’s ups and downs:
1. You can still find out who you are.
2. You can go on living a great life.
3. But, you may have to do things differently.
As days turned into weeks then months, I became obsessed with trying to figure out who I was.
What was the bipolar? What was me?
I was broken.
I wanted to separate the two.
But, there was no separating what was ME…now.
Fast forwarding till now, I’ve had to live with this notion in mind:
Living with bipolar is like riding waves. You ride it hard at the crest and take it easy at the trough.
When I’m moody, I’m gentle with myself.
When I’ve got energy, I make it happen, DOUBLE TIME.
I can’t ignore my moods. But, I can use them for my gain.
Through the years, I would try to fulfill my job requirements the very best I could, but often I’d get fired.
I struggled. I was depressed. I loathed myself, even.
But, I always knew I had a greater purpose and could do great things, if only I found my place.
I’ve owned multiple companies on a smaller scale. Why let my mental health, my moods, this thing they called “Bipolar” stop me.
No. I just have to do things the way it works for me.
I’ve been successful.
I’ve failed.
I’ve reached heights some may never reach.
I’ve experienced lows that most may never experience.
But, it only matters what you focus on.
Bipolar? A bad, bad monster?
Nah.
Hey, it’s hard! My wife will tell you that. But, I have to stay hydrated, go to bed early, and eat right or else I’ll cycle and my moods…not good.
How about relating to others, understanding others who deal with mental illness. Absolutely!! I’ve been able to help others, comfort, relate to, and learn from. It’s been awesome.
Perhaps I wouldn’t be as cool of a “Josh” as I am now without Bipolar. Who knows. Who cares!
The point is, no matter who we’ve become or what we believe and think, we can always have a GROWTH MINDSET to dictate the road to better days ahead!!!
